Home > humor, Life in the US, Opinion, Politics > What scares white males?

What scares white males?

Eight years ago we elected our first black president. In a few weeks we are likely to elect our first female president. Rather than these been seen as great steps forward, they have given rise to fears, primarily among white males. I have been struggling with this, trying to understand what is so scary to my fellow white males.

I may have found an answer. According to Lynn Saxon in her book “Sex at Dusk: Lifting the Shiny Wrapping from Sex at Dawn,” in some deep sea angler fish species, only the female becomes a full adult.

I am sure she doesn’t mean to imply that all males or only males remain childish. After all, quite a few women don’t believe a woman should be elected president.

But it can get scarier than that. Apparently Charles Darwin (as reported by Ms. Saxton) found in some barnacle species “a number of dwarf males inside the female.” Even worse, the female had two little pockets, in each of which she kept a little husband. The troubling issue of size was first brought up by Marco (‘little Marco’) Rubio and it must concern not only Donald (‘tiny hands’) Trump, but many of his white, male supporters as well.

And if that isn’t demeaning enough, consider the male redback spider, who intentionally flips his body into a position above the jaws of the female in order to be eaten during mating.

I don’t know how much of a difference there is between a redneck and a redback spider. I’d guess less than the difference between a redback and a wetback.

The final insult may be offered by honeybees in their nuptial flight, once more, according to Ms. Saxton. “When a successful male mates with the queen: his ‘endophallus’ explodes to become a copulatory plug inside her and he drops dead. Why? It is a strategy to prevent other males from mating with the queen but for that privilege he loses both his phallus and his life. What’s more, the queen is able to pop out the copulatory plug and to mate again anyway.”

  1. Philip O. Sheridan
    September 29, 2016 at 5:51 pm

    Enjoyed your article on Ronda — very well done; especially having lived it

    and shared it with you and Ruth — but also, the luncheon, a place to sit out

    of the heat and enjoy a welcomed beer.

    Also, enjoyed the white male scary story — we mature to have sex &

    perpetuate our posterity, and die — as in many species; I am more than

    halfway there. At least, I am not a male seahorse who must carry the

    young and release them in due time.

    Keep up the good work. Deanna and I have booked London, England, Wales,

    Scotland, and the Highlands for late Spring in 2017 with GCT. Good to meet

    you & Ruth and to travel with you. Bon voyage. Phil & Deanna

    • October 1, 2016 at 5:38 am

      Thanks guys; sounds like a good trip. Once I spent a whole summer in Scotland (August 12th, from one to four in the afternoon) While in Scotland keep in mind Hagis is to be consumed along single malt whiskey. If the pairing proves cumbersome, skip the Hagis.

  2. Di Heuscher
    September 30, 2016 at 8:17 am

    This election has made us a laughing stock in Scandinavia. If Donald would win they are prepared to build something similar to our bomb shelters. I do believe that as women are still treated inferior to men that could be part of the problem with men being concerned with a woman President. We are behind the times as across the world there are female leaders who have and do a great job. Come this election we should be voting for the most qualified person regardless of gender.

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